Random thoughts

I majored in PR and Advertising and those are now the areas I am the worst in, in my life. I canNOT market myself or y'know - the equivalent of it. I am the worst of the lot when it comes to sounding out just what are the cool things you're upto and how. PR - forget it. I have the best PR with the walls in my house bcos they dont market themselves or slot me/categorise me or judge me. LOL. I was at the playground with moms yesterday and I felt like someone else making inane conversation and all the right noises. I know at the back of my mind, this is probably how the world works at one level but it just bugs me. Maybe Im just idiotic.

I just wanna go home.

I realised one of the reasons God intended for us to have kids is its the best way to make sure you learn not to take love for granted. Which other relationship has you putting your bloody goddamn everything into it and then some? Only to have the objects of your affection lap it up like its their birthright and then fly away to everything else the world has to offer? Im talking about wanting their love, not the other way round.

As Nosh and Reh grow, their different personalities are a constant source of puzzlement, delight and frustration to me. Reh who has his heart on his sleeve I realised, is very much not Daniel Goleman's star kid. 

Nosh you continuously remind me of my childhood. While I lived on the fringes of a gang that consisted of girlfriends with varying levels of their idea of friendship, there was one who was always nice to me but bcos she was very popular with everyone else, it caused a lot of friction between the others and me who always tried to sour things between us. She was older, already into things that others caught up with months and years later. The fact that we lived close to each other and shared a bus made our friendship a little bit stronger. She was smart enough to have me AND the others on good terms with her. I never understood why she didnt just give them the boot. (as you can see fate probably led me into trying to understand PR but it still hasnt sunk in.) Me though, I couldnt understand jealousy and possessiveness and everything else that goes into girlfriends' relationships and practically cried everyday bcos of the resulting confusion.

I know Nosh has her own issues with her friends, but what I respect about her is she sticks to her guns and has tried to create her own support system, (primarily me) which she uses to keep her going. Its not all about doing anything to fit in. Her life doesnt revolve so much around her friends that she dissolves at the thought of cancelled playdates or friends choosing other people to play with. I remember the world used to crumble around me if I couldnt join my friends for a party or wasnt allowed to spend time with them. In school though, I see she's well-liked and well-adjusted. Nosh is very content to be home with us. She has her moments of sadness with school and friends but on the whole holds up allright! She says her best friends are her teacher and me. I think that says a lot for her. 

Her confidence and this set-up here that allows one teacher to teach most subjects and thereby she's practically a surrogate mom since she's spending almost six hours with her students!

Back when I was a kid, I lived an hours bus ride away from school, home life and school life were two separate compartments and my parents werent that big a part of the school system as I would have liked.

This way though, the kids here have a feeling that their parents are right behind them I think and its a wonderful feeling.

While Reh is loud and momentary about his feelings, whats the word? He doesnt think of understanding people in the long-term. Making a picture about their personality. Trying to figure out what makes them tick or who they are. Its like he lives in his head and is busy trying to understand his dinosaurs and cars really.

Nosh though, gets to the nitty-gritty of it and I love this about her - will not let someone else's meanness or rudeness get to her. Unless its coming from someone she adores and then she's puzzled and retreats. Me on the other hand - I'd better not go there. I still have grudges from 20 years ago. LOL!!!!

I was having this conversation with the other moms during a classmates birthday party and it was such a DUH moment for me when someone with three daughters said girls are just more emotional. Of course! Why didnt I figure that out sooner?!! Esp since I am a right brained eejit myself. Thats why as Nosh's been growing last year, suddenly some things arent so simple anymore. While a kiss and a hug set Reh on his way, Nosh needs more time and words and ears.

How could I forget those years when I understood things, felt things but couldnt name the feelings, couldnt handle them and then the world didnt seem as easy to navigate? I know I understood and observed a lot of things as a child that were not expected of a child of my age. Or people have been going through the same things forever but you just forget as you get older. 

You still behaved like a child but you knew so much more. All during those times, I remember a vague feeling of dread too. I didnt know what would set me free, I didnt want to carry the burden of all this knowledge that I couldnt even process for the most part but still carried with me. Y'know that thing about children understanding whats going on. They know. They just know. It might be a vague or strong feeling but it still has us by the forelock.

Maybe if I'd felt there was a safe place for me to turn to.

I think if I do nothing else right, I'll die happy knowing I was that safe place for my children. 

Its not easy. Being kind.

So...

Well three weeks into school and its been a sea-change at home. The most obvious change is not having Nosh around. Second is that since Reh goes for half a day, we're able to spend one on one time with each other and that is a huge blessing. I see a huge change in his behaviour when he and I can just spend time together without him competing for it from everyone else. I also see that it's so much more easier since he's older, I know how to handle him, I've been in more demanding situations and him alone is a piece of cake by far. He just enjoys the spotlight on him.

But Nosh, O My God, I miss her so much. Without going into the low-points of it, I think I want to outline what I can do to maximise our time together and make it just as effective and special.

I used to not let her help with household chores, mainly because I felt it would stop the flow of my doing things the way I do them and well - bottom line it was just a distraction. Now though I can see that's the best way for us to spend time together because we'd be in physically close and talking and once Reh's got his fill he's not around clamoring for attention. Washing clothes should be fun, lettings her load the machine and pour soap. Leaving plastic dishes for her to scrub and rinse should be fun, God knows she's been asking me every night for the past coupla years practically. But most excitingly, I think I'm going to let her cook. As in prep food for cooking or even simple things like salads -getting the food, washing, arranging et al. She's a craftsbody so I do have to get her one of those project tables, I'm tired of seeing glue, scraps, fabric, scissors in the most oddest of places. Yesterday I switched on the treadmill and a scissor fell out the top ledge. There was a colouring book and box of crayons by the toilet. Someone was busy by it while on it?!!

We have a major re-arranging of furniture to do. I have to get my own work table move all my stuff out of Noshs room. We bought her a desk and hutch when we moved in here but I was using it. Now she has her own books, homework, folders, projects, things to put away in drawers, I have to give her back her desk! I have to get one for Reh too, he's never had one, the dining table was our be-all, end-all table but I'm tired of carting stuff from one room to another. I'm also tired of having things in different drawers all over the house, I'd rather everyone had their things in their own rooms. So much to do!

Nosh got her own library card yesterday!!!!! And we went at 8 at night because I decided we have to celebrate and she picked out her own books, checked them out with her own card and was hopping and skipping all the way home. I was too. Thank God it was dark in the parking lot. It's another thing that she still cant see the librarian on the other side of the high table though!! I'm not redundant yet!

We had Meet The Teacher night two days ago and her teacher is someone more than I could have asked for. She has 10 children of her own (same marriage, no multiple kids), I know that gets mixed reactions but for me it means she loves children among other things. nine boys and a girl. After her last kid was 2 and ready for school, she was mortified about having no kids around her and then decided to get her Masters in Education from Adelphi and got into one of the best schools in NY (ours ;) but taught 2nd grade for 12 years. The minute she heard last year that they were making KG a full-time program this year and the former teacher was retiring, she hot-footed it to the Principal and begged (in her words) to be allowed to teach KG and she was and this is her dream come true. So its another adavantage in my eyes that she's back to doing what she loves to do for the first time this year.

They had a KG teachers convention this summer vacation. Guess where? Vegas!!! LOL!!!! She went, was delighted to meet more than a 1000 KG teachers from all over the country and came away with some valuable lessons. One of which (I have to tell you guys this- its so brill) There is a Home station in the classroom with pretend kid-sized kitchen, cribs for babies etc etc. You can imagine the amount of things that would be in there. When the kids are done it used to be a pain for the teachers to put everything back (hey! us at home here too!) so one of the things she learnt at the convention was to take pictures of what each cupboard, area looked like clean, what goes where, and the kids have a great time, seriously coming and looking at the pics to see what goes where and diligently reproduce the same neatness! I thought it was a great idea, a game even. I'm going to do the same soon!

She was so excited about the school year and one thing she said made me eyes tear up. She told me that the first day we went too, the day me, nosh and reh got a surprise visit. She said she would do everything possible in her power to make sure my child would feel 'safe'. Which means creating a space where she wouldn't feel ridiculed no matter what, every feeling, every question, every thought would be validated and just the feeling that no matter how or where she was in her life, she was going to be accepted wholeheartedly. Now, I know it's not easy for a teacher looking after 17 kids or so. But for her to know thats exactly what a child needs now and thats her main focus, I think her heart is in the right place. She's firm where she needs to be and her prescence of mind will be the right thing for the kids.

I think so.

She was nervous about talking to adults and I so understood that!!

No wonder Nosh has a woebegone look when its time to come home. She looks around prolonging the leaving, searching out every friend she can to wave bye to and dragging her feet.

Guess what - since we live close by, I dont drive to school, me and Reh walk it up and the three of us walk back together, talking about whatever happened in school. Of course winter wont allow us that lovely time soon.

One thing I came away with was that I think the most successful people are those whose parents let them be. I mean it's one thing to push them, help them out of their comfort zones and all that but its another thing to just let them grow at their own pace too. You can never be a child again and I know for sure if we as parents wanted, it Could be a wonderful place to be in. With all its insecurities and fear and wonder. I just hope I can be that mom. Before anyone writes in saying they're sure I am and all that, trust me, I know I could have done a million times better. So its not looking for validation. I have let my sensitive kid be toughened and broken promises many a time to let myself think I have been a sensitive, have my finger on your pulse mom. I have'nt. I wish I could have retained Noshi's sweetness the way it was coupla years ago. I'm certain its in there in her somewhere still but I see a layer of pretended and sometimes real nonchalance when I should be seeing the oppositte there. And I begin to berate myself for having ignored or toughened up on her. I think it was a result of having been mired in my own issues and also an irritation of wanting her to get independent sooner. I must have my heart in the right place though because I miss her even when she's asleep or downstairs and there are nights I've woken her up to apologise or make-up. Its another grace of God's though that he made little kids so ready to forgive and open to love. I think maybe when you're a kid, you only know how to love a parent. Center of universe and all that. I'm being blase' bcos it's so precious a feeling and I know I cant do justice to it.

I think these are the best years of my life. Woohoo!!!!

Sixth sense

For some reason, something's been telling me to go to the library, get something for myself. There are few writers right now whose work I would put everything aside for and devour in hours. The rest I keep telling myself I will tackle someday.
And then guess what? I was blog hopping and a kind mom had this on her blog - Berg is out with her new book!! I cant wait for it to be 10:00 AM and head over to the library hoping against hope they have a copy I can take out today. Read the reviews and she seems to have delivered in her usual style. I can't wait. (Did I say that before?) I love her books. All of them however bad or good. I cant wait, I cant wait, I cant wait!!!
The Art of Mending
And then there's this one. HOW could I have missed it? HOW? HOW?? God knows she must have written it for me!
The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And other Small Acts Of Liberation
Now this one I'm sure I would have to request for. Bcos I did check out every Berg book they have there. Sigh - cosy afternoons here I come.

Rocking on....!

Last night just before the trillionth time asking them to get into bed, as usual Reh was tinkering with his boom box and decides for the trillionth time (ayiayiayi) that he'd listen to Rock On. Looked like it was fun dancing in their pj's so I decided to capture it forever. I'm waiting for the day they see it and cringe. LOL!

Reh I noticed was not his usual self - a bit too quiet for his usual demeanour. Maybe it was the time, maybe it was bcos he was not alone like he normally is in his room while doing his thing. He's normally more animated!

Nosh will do anything to get out of early turning in. Here she's in her element!

Chuckle-worthy yet sobering

I bring the children one more glass of water.

I rub the hormone night cream on my face.

Then after I complete the isometrics.

I greet my husband with a warm embrace.

A vision in my long sleeved flannel night gown.

And socks (because my feet are always freezing).

Gulping tranquilizers for my nerve-ends.

And Triaminic tablets for my wheezing.

Our electric blue blanket's set for toasty.

Our red alarm clock's set for seven thirty.

I tell him that we owe the grocer plenty.

He tells me that his two best suits are dirty.

Last year I bought him a Centaur for his birthday.

(they promised he'd become half-man, half-beast.

Last year he bought me something black and lacy.

(They promised I'd go mad with lust at least.)

Instead my rollers clink on the pillow.

And his big toenail scrapes against my skin.

He rises to apply a little chap-stick.

I ask him to bring back two Buffferin.

Oh somewhere there are lively little boudoirs.

With Porthault sheets, canopies and whips.

He lion-hunts in Africa on weekends.

She measures thirty-three around the hips.

Their eyes engage across the brandy snifters.

He runs his fingers through her Kenneth hair.

The kids are in the other wing with nanny.

The sound of violins is everywhere.

In our house there's the sound of dripping water.

It's raining and he never patched the leak.

He grabs the mop and I get out the bucket.

We both agree to try again next week.

- Source unknown!

The making of a mom

oh forget it. the making of a mum my foot. either the ingredients are just not right or the measurements are all wrong. whats going on you ask me. oh nothing much i'll say. i feel like am vegetating, like moss over a pond. just floating, thas it.
it's getting to me. gets me almost always but it's getting to me for the past coupla days and im not sure my whining is going to help. i need to get out there and sweat some, i realise i am a physical person and i miss gymming. am antsy and inert if you can make sense of that.
cleaning helps - i have never been so in love with dishwashing liquid or windex before. what is it? instant gratification? see a mess, spray, wipe, clean?
my sis recently told me not diluting dishwashing liquid is the way to go. it made dishwashing fun. i love the intensity of the fragrance, the way a whole sinkful can be washed with just enough dips into the liquid that you can count on one hand, the foam that cant get enough of itself.
yea, im losing it.
or maybe i'm finally getting the hang of this housewifely thing. its a nice feeling to be happy in your spot. not wondering whether you should be doing something else. who am i kidding....those feelings are always around. waiting to get me the minute i feel ive screwed up with the kids or whatever.
i dont like feeling like ive let them down and still my naturally brooding, 'thinking too much' state doesnt leave much room for lets roll in the grass moments. i think im not taking enough. i'd do it if i knew what to take. is that possible? you dont know what to take but you're very good at knowing what to give? sounds so stupidly soppy, i feel nauseous. but i know its not working for me. i feel i must be doing something on my own, only that doesnt feel right either. its not like i can drop the kids somewhere and go gallivanting. i dont want to either. im not looking to get away from them. i just want to do something - something that doesnt mean being a wife or mom. or did i just veto that the second i got married and had kids? or maybe i'm not thinking? which is probably right. I almost felt a bulb go on.
on a completely different note - i'd love to walk in for once and be the one asking "Whats for dinner?"
i dont want to lose myself, i dont i dont i dont.....

sisterhood

Me: wondering what to pack reh for lunch
Me: he's a carb addict
Me: skinny one
sis: gasp
sis: change his dosha fast
me: i tried
me: im up against iron willed wont eat anything else for days type
sis: why what does he like?
me: rice
me: appam
me: dosa
me: idli
me: iddiyappam
me: pulao
me: khaana
me: kheer
me: bread
sis: no chicken, fruits, veggies et al
me: fruits - grapes, cantaloupe, watermelon
me: veggies - none
me: chicken - only unhealthy nuggets
me: he likes fish
me: sporadically
sis: wallahi
me: pizza is his love
sis: just tell him carbs have recently been banned in america so he'll just have to eat other stuff
sis: hehehehe
me: well his dad gets him the pizza
me: and we are divided over this
sis: hmm
me: he indulges them, ignoring my warnings
sis: then make sure he also gets addicted to activity
me: that he is thank God
me: ne'er a still moment
sis: make sure he keeps it up always
sis: y'know how people become inert slowly as they grow up?
sis: i feel nosh will be extremely up and active as an adult
me: thats if they have issues honestly
me: unhappy people
me: nosh's teacher called me aside yesterday saying - "can I tell you how immensely talented at art she is"?
me: she's just too good
sis: wowww
me: and nosh looked away like she didnt know us
me: and i asked her to convince noshi to sign up for painting classes
me: bcos ive been telling her and she wont listen
me: found one smack bang behind my house
me: they have classes for kids and it looks cosy and appealing
me: the kid is shy
me: the teacher was like - you have something good going here...like, really
me: i hope i can manage to get her to go
sis: just inspire her
me: i tried
sis: show her kids who paint
me: she's happy when i inspire her
sis: on the net n stuff
me: but to go for classes there is this initial fear that started now
me: never was like that before
me: i wish it would go away
me: i guess i shud go with her and sit it out
me: which i would if i didnt have mr.ruckus with me
me: i'll try one way or the other
me: the teacher keeps telling her she's creative
me: i'll work it out
sis: gud girl
sis: i remember when shyness suddenly came and descended upon me sometime as a kid
me: thats the reason i put her in this camp bcos it had her fav stuff even though we lost some money when we quit the other one
sis: i dun think its a good sign
sis: shake her out of it
sis: tactfully
me: no, it's not
me: i know why it happened
me: bcos she's surrounded by boys and their boisterousness it eclipses her quiet but talented personality
me: this kid sees everyone reacting to them and her little voice is lost somewhere
me: im always fighting for her
sis: she'll find her balance another way
me: today is our day together anyway
me: fridays its just me n her
sis: hmmm
sis: whats plans?
me: she wants to go swimming
me: so that im going to do
me: then normally me and reh go buy icecreams when shes at reading class
me: this time i found a huge ice cream place near our house
me: so i'll take her there
me: she'll be thrilled
me: cool
me: she's so sweet man - yest shabu was going around distributing kheer and she comes running to ask reh "you want kheer, you want kheer"? bcos she knows he loves it
sis: i wanna stay near ur house
sis: so we can all get together and have shitloadsa fun
me: she herself doesnt like it
me: I wish so too
me: then I woudnt wish for anything else
me: she's a fruit, veggie and chicken person
me lol
sis: i know
sis: nuts too
sis: i love her
me: I KNOW!! she 's been wanting to bake a cake - we'll do that today too
me: totally nuts
(and then i realise sis meant nosh loves nuts too)
sis: put nuts in the cake too
me: lol ok
me: AND - she made a jewellery box at craft so she spoke to mummy yest and told her and mummy asked her to make one for her too
me: so i think well go buy the supplies
me: oh lots to do today
me: so the ice cream we'll have to do after picking up Reh
me: its a huge place with lots of room to sit and all that
me: so we'll do it later
sis: why dun u buy the craft stuff and then go have ice cream and make the jewel box there?
sis:wow
sis: take pics for ur blog
sis: day out with my dotter lol
me: make the jewellery box at the icecream store?
sis: what does r say abt her ?
me: we have to paint it, glue it and etc it
me: the ice cream store would have a fit
sis: does he think she's talented n stuff?
me: he dotes on her
me: likes her dicipline and girlyness
me: she's the one who giggles while we're out having a good time and it warms the cockles of his heart...
me: he's working on toughening her - takes her to parks and stuff and shows her a thing or two about standing ur ground
me: my turn, buzz off buster kind of thing
sis: good good
sis: i want her to get that thing right too
me: she will

This is how we do it

If I'd only figured it out earlier....it would have saved me a lot of confusion and grief. I just realised that boys and girls have different ways to deal with their frustrations or just think things through too. At least my boy and girl anyway. And I'm sure it's the same for many more.
I see that Reh comes around more easily if there's a physical activity involved in letting him find his way around in his thinking or understanding something. If I'd had him before Nosh, maybe I would have figured it out earlier too. As it stands now, I used to try to make him understand things the way I used to with Nosh. Which is talk or read a similiar - situation'ed' story or just cuddle. With Reh I see it has to be that he has to be on his feet, doing something or just being physical to avoid meltdowns or just frustration. If I find something for us to do, or take his cue and follow him it's seconds before he falls back on track again and feels better about whatever it was that was bothering him. The simplest is to let him run free. Ride his scooter or jeep and he's a much more pleasant and agreeable person.
At the same time, if I do what I do with Nosh which is quiet time - even as far as physical activity is concerned she loves to be pushed on a swing or play games that dont require so much exertion that you end up hurting yourself, he's still a bundle of energy waiting to let it rip.
The understanding of that has let me get my sleep back. I hate having irritated, frustrated kids on my hands and the moment I understood what he needs and this oh so simple way of handling him, it's been peaceful. That's not to say that he doesn't like to be cuddled or doesn't love his share of reading and quiet time talking over pushing his cars and back forth. He loves it, I love the way his little legs run to get books when it's time to read. I love the way he smiles shyly when I join him in his games. But for him to retain his sanity, he needs to let it drain from his body -whatever's frustrating him.
Even though he's not shy, for a few months now, he feels a little wary about entering his grandma's house where everyone greets him with smiley loud "heys!" or "Reh!" Immediately his index finger goes in his mouth and he dashes to the kid's room for cover. Lately though he needs to play outside a bit before he makes his way in. Such a bundle of contradictions.

Nosh on the other hand though - I've started letting her watch those Disney shows like Hannah Montana (I know I know!!) and Wizards...Place etc. The kid's theatrical talents have been awakened. She dances more confidently, she can imitate accents and generally I guess a part of her has come alive. Just lost her for a bit though when she went around talking like the said Hannah. **shudder** That was painful to watch. Again - I guess everything has its phase and she's back.
Add to that the camp she's in this time has all her favourite activities -theatre, arts n crafts and Gymnastics. The kid loves to use her body in a graceful manner (you wont get her to huddle or scrape knees on a regular basis) and so this particular camp has her excited and raring to go. There's a recital at the end of the camp and I'm thrilled to be going to see it! They make the props, costumes and everything related to the show as part of their arts and crafts, they practice for the show and the gym where they cartwheel and somersault and let loose on the trampoline is her dream come true. No roasting in the sun throwing balls and swinging bats for her. Although I hope she changes her mind about that - I'd love for her to be on a sports team. Other than gymnastics too!

Parenting means learning to work as a team....

It helps to think of your husband as anyone but your husband when certain issues arise in your marriage. I find I'm infinitely patient and not snarling when I think of him as a friend in our gang of friends or the neighbour next door when I'm trying to explain something that sounds very basic to me but is obviously not to him as far as rearing the kids goes.

Otherwise I just think - how come he doesnt get that??? How? WHY?? Surely I dont need to explain why nosh needs to be handled like this and why reh did what he did?

But the moment I imagine he's a stranger and not the other person sitting in my head who should be reading my brain, it gets more civil around here. We actually manage to achieve a memorandum of understanding in how to handle our kids. As opposed to rolling eyes and saying dubious things on the lines of 'I'll just do it myself' or 'you just screwed up three days of my work in making Reh a little bit like me and not so much like you'. Y'know what I mean. Lol.

Infinitely exciting

Hey Mom! listen to this!


You tell her . No! You tell her!


So ermm...yada, blabbidy blada...

Errrr....I dont. think. she got it.

I regularly hear nosh n reh giggling or chuckling together or by themselves downstairs. Initially I used to go downstairs to see what they were upto and used to be surprised to see they were laughing at some joke on TV. Must be some silly joke on their kiddie programmes I used to think.

Now though, it's exciting to me to see them laughing at jokes and punchlines. For me its just the same as them learning to walk or talk....their sense of humour is a delight to experience! Funny thing is how different even their sense of humour is from each other. Reh's is very slapstick, funny noises, funny moves kind of stuff that sends him roaring. Nosh - its witty one-liners and irritating one-ups. Having the last say kind of thing.

Whatver it is though, it cracks me up - watching them following a program and laughing where they should and sometimes where I'm surprised they did! They got that? I wonder...they really understood the joke behind that? wow. It's like seeing your kids come of age to a certain extent...holding a conversation, keeping it going, adding jokes and inventing banter on car-rides....it's really delightful to me. Long were those days when you looked in the rearview mirror and made inhuman noises to get a reaction from the kids in the backseat who looked equally surprised at this mime. Now, it's high energy conversations and of course - fighting for who spots the most Mercs (hey!! why are you looking at the ones outside MY window?) who spots Nandeenie's (Nandini) (say nan like a gora would say nan as in tandoori naan) house first even though poor Nandini probably gets a spate of horrible hiccups everyday since we're always passing by her house, who gets to pick which song to play etc and then there are those days when conversation flows smoothly. CONVERSATION! I will never get used to it or become less grateful for it.

I used to Hate those days - the first 15-16 months before the kids start talking. My God were they long. I'm not a talker so its nice when they babble and I can listen or referee. Bliss!

Spring break - part 1

Cool, green, burst of colours and waking up from hibernation. Thats what the past few weeks have been about. Nosh n Reh were home and I just love that. No rushed mornings - except where I had to rush them to the gym - my god that was excruciating) and just enjoying the weather.

The pink cherry blossom tree outside our home...it actually threw pink light on the walls.


brother and sister talk, laugh, argue and complain

daydream, play, imagine and be

freeze framed my hunny

i love the afternoon/asr time light in our home

pink bounty

squirrel pranayamas early morning with this lovely tiny white flowering tree outside which is one of the first ones to bloom every spring.

One-tasking

Im officially off the beaten track. Of multi-tasking. Long ago, along with the Std XI and XII PCB course of CBSE's you had the option of choosing Math or CompScience or Home Science as another main stream option. I chose Homescience simply bcos I thought I was going the medicine way. (Ho boy was that a long time ago)

So anyway, I remember there was this page in the text book about dovetailing and multi-tasking and it made me drool. I had a bone in my body called organising even before I knew I loved it, craved it and would eventually be very good at it. All I knew was, that line in that text-book reached out and got me by my neck. Ever since then there was a word for my love for combining tasks and I got a kick out of living like that. As a mom it's been obviously very useful. I personally feel its also the other side of my laziness coin. Cram everything I need to do into the one hour before it should be done and then fall back, clapping the dust off my hands at how smart I was at not having moved a muscle before (conserving my energy) and still getting everything done. Wah!

But now. (Thank God my English teachers arent reading my blog, they'd gag at my using 'But's' at the start of every other sentence) Now I officially give up this whole multi-tasking business even though I'm quite the pro at it simply bcos I feel it makes an idiot out of me. A blubbering, scheming, focusing-so-close my vision is blurred nut. I mean why cant we just enjoy exercising when we enjoy exercising instead of making sure the rice is in the rice-cooker and the clothes are doing their round in the washer and the kids favourite show is on so that they dont slide off the treadmill behind you. (OK - I dont know if I'm ready to give it ALL up now)

It doesnt give you the freedom to just be sometimes. Your mind is constantly thinking of what next to tick off your list and how best to combine chores. I'm going to opt instead to just do what I think needs to be done right then and there instead of wondering what else can I put in motion when I go downstairs so as to minimise trips. Now I'll increase the trips and chill a bit mentally. I think I'm going to give it a shot. I dont know how successful I'll be being that I live in place like I do. Old habits being hard to break and all that. I definitely am going to try though.

R is the sort of person who focuses on one thing at a time and for someone like who runs a business and basically has his hand on the pulse of everyone in his family, I sometimes wonder how he does it. He does one thing at a time. He wont entertain silly phonecalls from home when he's at work bcos - he's at work! He wont work from home bcos - he's home!
Things like that. I ask him whether he's stressed, he says no. I know its natural for him to be in a on-your-toes position for most of the time and I used to think he's become so used to the stress that maybe he doesnt know another way. But (there's the but again) I know better now - he's got the clarity I search for sometimes and I think it's due to his focus on one thing at a time thinking. So I'm going to give it a shot.
Do the wednesdays for laundry, thursdays for grocery shopping kind of thing. I'm pretty sure it's going to be a tough one.

Useful Link

Found this link, I'm sure a lot of you probably know about it but just in case. It's for toddlers to play on the comp, the variety's amazing and the stuff is extremely do-able. Even if they just bang on the keys they'll get a reaction and its empowering (careful -too much of THIS good thing is def bad! Reh cant think of anything else now) It's currently what I brandish to get Reh to toe the line - no computer games if you dont eat/behave/take your shoes off/ go potty/are rude to your sis/finish your milk/sit on the steps till I lock the door/sit in your carseat and keep your belt on etc etc etc. It's Fisher Price's.
toddler games online

Toy Story

Wow. I just had a first-hand experience of how easy it is to explain a situation, a feeling to my kids with the help of toys. I mean yes, there were always puppets, other toys and the odd sock but yesterday, I went to do some toy-shopping and bought Nosh a toy crib and changing table set. She'd been asking me for one for a while and I'm the kind who prefers that she uses things around the house to make cribs for the dolls and just basically imagine and re-use things to suit her fancy. So I watched her diligently place her dolls in shoe boxes lined with tissues and make bottles and powder tins out of lego blocks. I've heard bemusedly many conversations she's had with her 'kids' and been an audience to many imaginative goings-on.
So when I gave her the toys to play with and she brought her brother into the picture (Reh mama? lol!) there was a lot of excitement and an incident where Reh complained that the baby scratched him. Nosh immediately reprimanded her baby and I heard a lot of "bad girl" "no"! and all that. I just stepped in with the referee role lol saying she's a baby and she doesnt know what she's doing and all that. Reh felt very bad and started kissing the doll saying its ok its ok etc etc. Nosh covered the baby in a giant hug and all was well. I'd tried explaining that so many times with real people before, littler cousins but it didnt go down as easily as this did and it just showed me a new and maybe easier way of making them understand things. All it took was for them to be proactive in choosing someone to be theirs and forming a relationship with them. The ease with which it went down and was understood was an eye-opener to me, a relief. Exciting too because I see endless possibilities in explaining lots of things to them, maybe learning more. Oh I can't wait to play.
I used to hate that game - 'mummy mummy', or 'house', whatever you call it as a kid. Now it seems extremely helpful!



Nosh with her brother's baby Sophie (hyuk hyuk!)


She was saying it's time to cut her nails....


Proud mom/aunt?

All's well when the baby's so happily asleep!

Eating Habits

Indian cuisines are so carb-oriented that I wonder if I'm going to make life easy for Nosh and Reh if I just minimised that right now itself. Right now they're going to work it off some way or the other bcos of all the running around but what happens later? When their lifestyle is less running around and more laidback? What if they're just as lazy as me about getting exercise?
It's really something thats always on my mind. I try not to stack up on chips, pretzels and all of that kind of stuff at home and the only times you'd find them at home would be after a party. Then yea, they pretty much finish it up. Or on the odd day that they come food-shopping with me then we do a quick sprint through the chips and etc aisle as a treat. I go by myself most times so thats not very often.

Still, I'd like to inculcate healthy eating habits just so they develop a taste for the good stuff and not so much the bad/unhealthy. It's getting harder as they get older since I have complete control only at home. McDonald's and the like - I almost never take them to. Once a week, the husband buys the kids, nephews and nieces 'happy meals' if they've been particularly active and it calls for a peptone fill-up. Usually when the whole family's together for the weekend and the kids have worked up an appetite from playing.

They're not pro-salad even though I am and Reh wont come anywhere near green food. Nosh can still be threatened into downing some. I wonder if there's an easier way to get that in them.
It's a full-time activity I think just figuring various ways to get the various food groups into their bodies.

They're not choosy about food, but I'd still like for them to be good food lovers. Not just the apples, chicken, broccoli and banana types. I love it when I come up with something new and they enjoy it. I still am unsure about the carbs thing though. Anyone think its a good idea to cut down on them for kids too or am I just nuts?

Another thing that I picked up from my friend as a really useful tip was that we dont have to have dinner by 7:00 or 8:00pm as a rule. It can be done earlier by 5 or 6 and then healthy snacks can be had later if needed. I used to have a tough time trying to get them to finish eating and in bed by 9. (Yea, they're late sleepers). Thats a good bad habit to kick too I think. Sleeping on a full stomach. So dinners are early now and then I try to just give them fruits, milk or nuts at night when stomachs rumble later on. At least I dont have the tension of feeding sleepy-heads and getting them into bed by a deadline. Cant imagine why I didnt think of it before.