So...

Well three weeks into school and its been a sea-change at home. The most obvious change is not having Nosh around. Second is that since Reh goes for half a day, we're able to spend one on one time with each other and that is a huge blessing. I see a huge change in his behaviour when he and I can just spend time together without him competing for it from everyone else. I also see that it's so much more easier since he's older, I know how to handle him, I've been in more demanding situations and him alone is a piece of cake by far. He just enjoys the spotlight on him.

But Nosh, O My God, I miss her so much. Without going into the low-points of it, I think I want to outline what I can do to maximise our time together and make it just as effective and special.

I used to not let her help with household chores, mainly because I felt it would stop the flow of my doing things the way I do them and well - bottom line it was just a distraction. Now though I can see that's the best way for us to spend time together because we'd be in physically close and talking and once Reh's got his fill he's not around clamoring for attention. Washing clothes should be fun, lettings her load the machine and pour soap. Leaving plastic dishes for her to scrub and rinse should be fun, God knows she's been asking me every night for the past coupla years practically. But most excitingly, I think I'm going to let her cook. As in prep food for cooking or even simple things like salads -getting the food, washing, arranging et al. She's a craftsbody so I do have to get her one of those project tables, I'm tired of seeing glue, scraps, fabric, scissors in the most oddest of places. Yesterday I switched on the treadmill and a scissor fell out the top ledge. There was a colouring book and box of crayons by the toilet. Someone was busy by it while on it?!!

We have a major re-arranging of furniture to do. I have to get my own work table move all my stuff out of Noshs room. We bought her a desk and hutch when we moved in here but I was using it. Now she has her own books, homework, folders, projects, things to put away in drawers, I have to give her back her desk! I have to get one for Reh too, he's never had one, the dining table was our be-all, end-all table but I'm tired of carting stuff from one room to another. I'm also tired of having things in different drawers all over the house, I'd rather everyone had their things in their own rooms. So much to do!

Nosh got her own library card yesterday!!!!! And we went at 8 at night because I decided we have to celebrate and she picked out her own books, checked them out with her own card and was hopping and skipping all the way home. I was too. Thank God it was dark in the parking lot. It's another thing that she still cant see the librarian on the other side of the high table though!! I'm not redundant yet!

We had Meet The Teacher night two days ago and her teacher is someone more than I could have asked for. She has 10 children of her own (same marriage, no multiple kids), I know that gets mixed reactions but for me it means she loves children among other things. nine boys and a girl. After her last kid was 2 and ready for school, she was mortified about having no kids around her and then decided to get her Masters in Education from Adelphi and got into one of the best schools in NY (ours ;) but taught 2nd grade for 12 years. The minute she heard last year that they were making KG a full-time program this year and the former teacher was retiring, she hot-footed it to the Principal and begged (in her words) to be allowed to teach KG and she was and this is her dream come true. So its another adavantage in my eyes that she's back to doing what she loves to do for the first time this year.

They had a KG teachers convention this summer vacation. Guess where? Vegas!!! LOL!!!! She went, was delighted to meet more than a 1000 KG teachers from all over the country and came away with some valuable lessons. One of which (I have to tell you guys this- its so brill) There is a Home station in the classroom with pretend kid-sized kitchen, cribs for babies etc etc. You can imagine the amount of things that would be in there. When the kids are done it used to be a pain for the teachers to put everything back (hey! us at home here too!) so one of the things she learnt at the convention was to take pictures of what each cupboard, area looked like clean, what goes where, and the kids have a great time, seriously coming and looking at the pics to see what goes where and diligently reproduce the same neatness! I thought it was a great idea, a game even. I'm going to do the same soon!

She was so excited about the school year and one thing she said made me eyes tear up. She told me that the first day we went too, the day me, nosh and reh got a surprise visit. She said she would do everything possible in her power to make sure my child would feel 'safe'. Which means creating a space where she wouldn't feel ridiculed no matter what, every feeling, every question, every thought would be validated and just the feeling that no matter how or where she was in her life, she was going to be accepted wholeheartedly. Now, I know it's not easy for a teacher looking after 17 kids or so. But for her to know thats exactly what a child needs now and thats her main focus, I think her heart is in the right place. She's firm where she needs to be and her prescence of mind will be the right thing for the kids.

I think so.

She was nervous about talking to adults and I so understood that!!

No wonder Nosh has a woebegone look when its time to come home. She looks around prolonging the leaving, searching out every friend she can to wave bye to and dragging her feet.

Guess what - since we live close by, I dont drive to school, me and Reh walk it up and the three of us walk back together, talking about whatever happened in school. Of course winter wont allow us that lovely time soon.

One thing I came away with was that I think the most successful people are those whose parents let them be. I mean it's one thing to push them, help them out of their comfort zones and all that but its another thing to just let them grow at their own pace too. You can never be a child again and I know for sure if we as parents wanted, it Could be a wonderful place to be in. With all its insecurities and fear and wonder. I just hope I can be that mom. Before anyone writes in saying they're sure I am and all that, trust me, I know I could have done a million times better. So its not looking for validation. I have let my sensitive kid be toughened and broken promises many a time to let myself think I have been a sensitive, have my finger on your pulse mom. I have'nt. I wish I could have retained Noshi's sweetness the way it was coupla years ago. I'm certain its in there in her somewhere still but I see a layer of pretended and sometimes real nonchalance when I should be seeing the oppositte there. And I begin to berate myself for having ignored or toughened up on her. I think it was a result of having been mired in my own issues and also an irritation of wanting her to get independent sooner. I must have my heart in the right place though because I miss her even when she's asleep or downstairs and there are nights I've woken her up to apologise or make-up. Its another grace of God's though that he made little kids so ready to forgive and open to love. I think maybe when you're a kid, you only know how to love a parent. Center of universe and all that. I'm being blase' bcos it's so precious a feeling and I know I cant do justice to it.

I think these are the best years of my life. Woohoo!!!!

Sixth sense

For some reason, something's been telling me to go to the library, get something for myself. There are few writers right now whose work I would put everything aside for and devour in hours. The rest I keep telling myself I will tackle someday.
And then guess what? I was blog hopping and a kind mom had this on her blog - Berg is out with her new book!! I cant wait for it to be 10:00 AM and head over to the library hoping against hope they have a copy I can take out today. Read the reviews and she seems to have delivered in her usual style. I can't wait. (Did I say that before?) I love her books. All of them however bad or good. I cant wait, I cant wait, I cant wait!!!
The Art of Mending
And then there's this one. HOW could I have missed it? HOW? HOW?? God knows she must have written it for me!
The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And other Small Acts Of Liberation
Now this one I'm sure I would have to request for. Bcos I did check out every Berg book they have there. Sigh - cosy afternoons here I come.

Garbage Sonata

About ten mins ago tonight, I just stepped out to put the trash out. After cooking and being marinated in various aromas, I stepped out and it was like a force moved my face upwards. A gentle cool breeze, trees and leaves having a nightly rendezvous. I heard whispering leaves and a practically ghungroo clad wind gossiping among the trees. The clean, smooth, just right temperatured outside flirted with me and then this beautiful moon said Hi. Just had to click her. Wish my camera had telescopic zooming capabilities. Had put the kids to bed after working on them for an hour and still I called them out, just to enjoy this spontaneous moment. To say it was beautiful is putting it simply.

Take a look

This is what I was upto when the kids were away at school. Been wanting to do it for a while. Stickers and decals can make an interior decorator out of anyone!!!

BEFORE




This was taken months ago. Yea thats Reh who cant get enough of I cant remember what-it-was.

AFTER





TA-DAAAA!
I put up number plates of all the 51 states on one side of Reh's bed. Car crazy that he is, I thought it would be a fun way for both Nosh and him to learn about the names of the States and have some fun while we drive around, playing the identify the number plate game later on!


Did I tell you about Reh's obsession with music? I'm quite impressed and touched at the way he keeps his CD's in the case that R gave him and pretty neatly in his room. Right from day 1, he's loved to listen to music and his first singalong he attempted in full gusto was the 'ziddeeeeee' bit from Rang De Basanti. He'd practically ziddee himself out of the carseat with the zeal with which he sang along. He has a regular good time listening to his favourites and nowadays it's Rock On which I never thought a 3.10 year old would like. But like it he does and how. One of these days I'll put up a video of him jamming on his tennis raquet.
So when I went shopping for wooden spoons yesterday, I saw these musical notes and instruments decals on sale and I figured they were perfect for where Reh is right now. Luckily the colours matched the room too.


I absolutely loved the drums.


We've got Hawaii, Oregon and Alaska down pat in one night....lol!



Dun miss New York right on top!


He loves his room.

Only for You Shal

Celebrated Mother's Day at my sister-in-law's. My nieces are always ready for a party and how. Gifts and cakes and et al. Thanks Shaboo and Nazu!



Couldnt fix Nosh before putting her up.


Nosh and Ri at their smiley cheesy best.

Guess who. When it was my turn to cut the cake. Except A. Bhai looks like he's trying to stop me...

Spring Break - Part 2

Of bicycling and watermelons and swinging and babies in strollers...


pic courtesy - nosh (lol - no really!)


yaay!

swing swinga swing a-long and u gotta swing along, it's spring!

i'm so happy, i could cry - pic courtesy - nosh

enuf of watermelon, gotta get back on my trusty steed

was that a bird? or a plane? no, its...mumma's laundry!

mm mm mmmm

he didnt have his watermelon ma! can i go too?

joosy joosy oh so yummy.

Spring break - part 1

Cool, green, burst of colours and waking up from hibernation. Thats what the past few weeks have been about. Nosh n Reh were home and I just love that. No rushed mornings - except where I had to rush them to the gym - my god that was excruciating) and just enjoying the weather.

The pink cherry blossom tree outside our home...it actually threw pink light on the walls.


brother and sister talk, laugh, argue and complain

daydream, play, imagine and be

freeze framed my hunny

i love the afternoon/asr time light in our home

pink bounty

squirrel pranayamas early morning with this lovely tiny white flowering tree outside which is one of the first ones to bloom every spring.

Useful Link

Found this link, I'm sure a lot of you probably know about it but just in case. It's for toddlers to play on the comp, the variety's amazing and the stuff is extremely do-able. Even if they just bang on the keys they'll get a reaction and its empowering (careful -too much of THIS good thing is def bad! Reh cant think of anything else now) It's currently what I brandish to get Reh to toe the line - no computer games if you dont eat/behave/take your shoes off/ go potty/are rude to your sis/finish your milk/sit on the steps till I lock the door/sit in your carseat and keep your belt on etc etc etc. It's Fisher Price's.
toddler games online

Toy Story

Wow. I just had a first-hand experience of how easy it is to explain a situation, a feeling to my kids with the help of toys. I mean yes, there were always puppets, other toys and the odd sock but yesterday, I went to do some toy-shopping and bought Nosh a toy crib and changing table set. She'd been asking me for one for a while and I'm the kind who prefers that she uses things around the house to make cribs for the dolls and just basically imagine and re-use things to suit her fancy. So I watched her diligently place her dolls in shoe boxes lined with tissues and make bottles and powder tins out of lego blocks. I've heard bemusedly many conversations she's had with her 'kids' and been an audience to many imaginative goings-on.
So when I gave her the toys to play with and she brought her brother into the picture (Reh mama? lol!) there was a lot of excitement and an incident where Reh complained that the baby scratched him. Nosh immediately reprimanded her baby and I heard a lot of "bad girl" "no"! and all that. I just stepped in with the referee role lol saying she's a baby and she doesnt know what she's doing and all that. Reh felt very bad and started kissing the doll saying its ok its ok etc etc. Nosh covered the baby in a giant hug and all was well. I'd tried explaining that so many times with real people before, littler cousins but it didnt go down as easily as this did and it just showed me a new and maybe easier way of making them understand things. All it took was for them to be proactive in choosing someone to be theirs and forming a relationship with them. The ease with which it went down and was understood was an eye-opener to me, a relief. Exciting too because I see endless possibilities in explaining lots of things to them, maybe learning more. Oh I can't wait to play.
I used to hate that game - 'mummy mummy', or 'house', whatever you call it as a kid. Now it seems extremely helpful!



Nosh with her brother's baby Sophie (hyuk hyuk!)


She was saying it's time to cut her nails....


Proud mom/aunt?

All's well when the baby's so happily asleep!

Trip to the City to see Diego....!

Guess what we did today. Even though I'd been to the city (Manhattan, New York City) with Nosh many times by the time she was two, I'd never actually walked the streets after Reh was born bcos I knew for sure I'd never have managed both between people, cars, buses and more people. And with Reh - My God - darty, fidgety, loud Reh. The perfect opportunity came up though after my friend asked if we wanted to go see the Go Diego Go show Live at Radio City Music Hall. She's been to an Elmo show before and said it was worth it. For us Long Islanders, taking the bus to the train station and then the F train to the city and then walking up the blocks to wherever, with 4 kids better be worth all that trouble! Taking the LIRR didnt make sense bcos since there were six of us, two adults and four kids meant taking both cars and parking them at the station. Driving there and parking there would drain us of our college funds. No point. So anyway, we went today and the kids loved it!

Nosh was like "wow mom - we're actually walking here!" (as opposed to zipping to the other side (New Jersey for a family get together) in a vehicle of some sort) and "have I been here before?" and I said, "yes, I have photos to prove it!". Reh was amazed at the close proximity to cars and doubledecker buses and just loving the noise and hoop-la. Felt bad then that these kids live in NY and I dont do anything to milk the opportunity. Well no more - good times are here again with Reh being more travel-friendly. Am gonna get up and movin again. So anyway - here's our coupla hours in the city in snap-prose.



mom - are we there yet? say that in a weak-battery dragged out tune.


ah - a full seat to myself - wake me up when we get there....

lunch was at TGIF's - can't u just imagine these two 20 years from now - nosh yakkety yakking about her latest indignant encounter and reh going - yea...right..wahtever.

P.S. - the food was SO bad. I know for sure now - all they do is defrost and microwave a ready to eat meal on the menu. ugh. Between TGIF and Applebees, I'm ready to gag at the mention of them.

oh and in between Rockerfeller Center and the NBC studios at the atrium was this glorious display of easter lilies and those wonderfully bright, pretty bouffanty, pink flowers. nosh felt like she was in some wonderful moment.

dats our other half - my friend her son and nephew.

i so badly wanted to get into that crabtree and evelyn store. and the chocolate store. just to check out the city versions.

our stop - Radio City Music Hall.

the stage and the whole show was grrreat. cant put all the snaps up here but gotta reiterate it - it was a great presentation.

after the show. nosh is like - awww - cant believe its over!

reh - I'm gonna find a way to snuck into the innards of this place and stay put. if only I could!

lisa very successfully kept a sleepy reh awake. almost had to lug him up the subway onto the bus and home!

Dora makes a surprise entry

and the boy of the hour...DIEGO!!

Noshi-ma.

My sister was wondering why there are these odes to Reh on the blog and hardly anything on Nosh. Thing is when I started the blog, I was just starting to tune in to Reh in a different way. He was talking nineteen to the dozen and it was much easier to understand and enjoy him. By then, Nosh was in her element, a full-fledged, little person who I knew very well. The way Reh was spouting different things every other day for us to see and understand him, Nosh had been through that earlier and she was very interesting too, except, I hadn't been blogging then. Wish I had though, never knew anything about it. I have lots of scraps of papers and diaries scribbled with things she said and did though.
To describe her now...let's see.

One thing that I'm always appreciating her for is that she's such a sport. She's ready for anything (except waking up early morning) no matter what it is at what time of the day/night and she just jumps right in with you to do whatever you suggest. She's always been great with her brother and despite him taking away a lot of time due to her when he came along, she just loved having him around. Of course there are those days when she wishes no one else was around but her but they are very rare. It's reached a stage now where if one is sleeping, the other is restless and rudderless lol.

The flip side of that which I regret is that she's SO mature for her age sometimes that you forget she's a baby too or that if she regresses into being one, she has every right to it and all it will take is a little babying for her to feel loved and attended to before she's back to being Miss Nosh. I still remember the times she used to come looking for me when I shut the door to Reh's room to put him to sleep. Always used to make sure she was with her Dad though, never alone outside. She learnt to open the door without making any noise and she'd look quietly questioningly at when he'd finally nod off and then I'd be with her. When we finally jumped into bed together me and her, she'd be one thrilled kid.

She cant get enough of being read to. I could go through all her books and be croaking hoarse but she'd love to sit and listen to more. She still loves to go to sleep holding/snuggling next to me.

She's very good with her body, she can dance like a free spirit. She's been asking me to put her in one of those Little Gym kind of classes where they teach you to somersault and jump through hoops and God knows what else. There's one around the corner and I just might do that this summer vacation. She loves doing puzzles and is quite good at spatial skills. I never sat her down to it, its something she showed me herself and I'm thrilled at her ability. Art, cooking, drama, she loves these things.

She loves to go shopping and has a really good eye for picking out clothes and things for the house. A month ago, we went to a store and I saw this jacket which looked really nice, except it had all these belts and buckles. I guess it was inspired by the military look or whatever. I tried it on, it fit, the price was OK for one of those days you need to throw something on and rush. So sure and full of confidence, I tried it on and turned around with a flourish to ask Nosh what she thought. "You look like a man" she said very matter-of-factly and tutted, thth ththed her very practical, 'but of course' line at me. I almost fell to the floor laughing. Both at her comment and her bang-on lifestyle editor style. Thats how much fun she is to take shopping.

Putting her clothes together too. I have a very basic, tried and tested sense of style. I'll pull out more or less the same combos of t-shirts that go with pants or skirts or whatever and put them on her. She, with the same wardrobe will manage to pull out something that adds new life to the same outfit after 3 years. Some new combination of colours, this jacket with that skirt, that tshirt-with this pant and you have to stand back and admire. I mostly am delighted.

I wasnt too crazy about sending her to bday parties simply bcos I'm not familiar with the parents and in our day you dropped the kids and picked them later. Here I saw how the moms hang around for the party too. Anyway, she went for her first one 2 weeks ago and was very thrilled to win a prize and was busy doing the cha cha with the rented-for-2-hours Snow White, when I went back to pick her up. I couldnt believe it! My girl? You had to revive me after I considerably wilted, backed into a corner and fainted after being asked to dance at bday parties when I was a kid. Here was my own flesh and blood, shaking everything she had and then some.

Before she left, the previous day , she was busy putting her outfit together, she found the perfect clutch (one which I gave her to add to her pretend/dress-up toys) and actually asked me for a cell-phone. Mine. Huh? I asked her why? She said in case she wanted to come back from the party, she wasnt feeling good or too nervous, she could call and ask me to pick her up. I told her she doesnt even know how to dial. (I was wondering where we were going with this) She said she had our number on a piece of paper and in her clutch. Then I remembered how she asked me to write down our number on a piece of paper to practice calling home, the day before. She said she had the paper and she would just ask the bday girl's mom to call me.

We settled the matter with me telling her, if she wanted to call me, the bday girl's mom had my number anyway and she could just ask her and she would immediately call me. She was'nt very happy with the arrangement but she realised there was no other way around it. So thats my super-planned, ahead-thinking daughter for you.
Shaboo I know you're loving this.
There's more much more to my little girl and I'll keep it coming. :)

Look at what Reh did!

I found this yesterday evening in Reh's room just after I'd settled them down in front of the TV downstairs. I came back upstairs to tidy up the rooms and Reh is the sort of kid who likes his privacy. I know at the age of three you think - what privacy??? but thats how he is. Locks his room from the inside out even if he's going to school just so no one goes inside and does what God knows. Read his diary? (Any Scorpios out there who want to enlighten me?)

He likes to arrange all his toys in some order only he knows the rules to and God forbid anyone dismantles that order then he's an upset little boy. I tried reasoning with him, (since I'm the bull in the china shop that invariably scatters the cars or blocks around or sends them tumbling) but to no avail. He enjoys the sorting and placing them in various spots in the room and I thought so be it. Whether it's a phase or a order/disorder ( gulp! God forbid) God knows, there's no way but to just play along with him. It's another thing that you cant walk into his room without thinking it's landmine filled and you better practice walking on eggshells or risk an amputated toe. or perforations in your heel thanks to the blocks. I managed to once even send myself sailing out of the room with my foot on a car, cartoon style. Since then I'm always wary around steps bcos I dont want my foot to land on a ball and then have a whiplash or worse. But I digress.

Yesterday like I was typing, I went in to clean and there I saw this on the bed. The two teddy bears, all tucked in and I was thrilled. Reh loves playing house with his sis, it's not like he's a car and guns kind of boy but this was the first time that he tucked the two teddy bears into bed without it being some prompt in an imaginary play with Nosh. Or maybe it was the first time that I noticed since they were isolated little bears and not in the middle of the menagerie elsewhere with the others.

But I was thrilled. Thrilled to bits. That there was some sweet game/scene going on his head in his room behind his door and that led to him tucking the two bears in. **sigh**

Silly tunes

I often take limericky, silly songs kind of books from the library bcos its fun to see noshirinez (I often make silly names out of my kids' names too) and Rehmustario dissolve in a heap of laughs when they listen to the song and esp if it's a familiar tune. I got one today called 'take me out of the bathtub and oher silly dilly songs' by Alan Katz. I'm gonna type up a few that I found funny. Not that funny but funny enough to make the kids lighten up when they're doing circles around your legs saying "mum can I load the dishwasher?", "mum can I help you cut up the chicken"?, mum can I put my head in the dryer"and in between saying 'No' a hundred times, it helps to belt out one of these in your best ....errr.... c minor?

Stinky Stinky Diaper Change
(To the tune of Twinkle Twinkle)

Stinky stinky diaper change
Boy, my brother smells so strange
He made something in his pants
Sure hope it wont attract ants
Stinky stinky diaper change
Boy, my brother smells so strange
It's ok, dont hold your nose
Now he's clean and in fresh clothes
All his stuff is often stained
Can't wait till he's potty trained
He's so cute in his playpen,
What's that smell...oh not again!

Personal note - feel free to substitute words that'll have our kids rolling in the aisles - like doozy for something, Reh etc for brother!

Go Go Go Go To Bed
(To the tune of Row Row Row your boat)

Go go go to bed,
Put your head at rest,
Or tommorrow while at school
You'll snooze on your desk!

No, no no not yet,
There's more stuff to do,
Art and games and balls and cards
Plus some TV too!

Whoa whoa whoa slow down,
Not another peep,
You are young and I am old,
We both need some sleep!

Oh oh oh wait mum, Just ten minutes please!
Yawn, I wanna play somemore,
Yawn, um goodnight,.......zzzzzzz!

Give Me A Break
(Sing to the tune of 'Home home on the range')

Oh give me a break,
'Cause I made a mistake,
And my library book's overdue,
The fault is all mine
It was due way back in '92

Home home's where it's hid
This is such a bad thing that I did,
And you might say "Gee Whiz!""
'Cause the book's title is
How To Be A Responsible Kid!


I'm So Carsick
(To the tune of Oh Susanna)

I'm in my dad's Toyota,
And we're now in hour three
Im gonna visit Grandma,
Though I wish she'd drive to me

We had some lunch,
A while ago,
A tiny pizza pie,
I need a soda or some juice,
'Cause boy, my throat is dry!

I'm so carsick
Bet ween you and me,
We've been driving for so long that,
I am growing a goatee!

Some take the bus,
Some take the train,
And others get to fly,
We're in this car, in the slow lane,
I think I'm gonna cry!

I'm so carsick,
Gotta go wee-wee
Hey Dad, stop this Toyota
And next time, go without me!

Hope you enjoy these!