the weekend

was an average one. Im am now digging average weekends. As in mundane, I've seen this before kind of days. The family came over for lunch, I played outside with the kids, yelled at, made up with kids and am looking fwd to next weekend when my mom will be here for the first time. Wonder what changes that will bring. This will be the first time my in-laws will be seeing me with my mom, living a daily life. Strange right? I know.

In other news - I was about to write a post for the longest time called - Marriage the Great Leveller. Then I ran out of steam...or ADD struck I dont know.

Did you ever get the feeling that before you get married, the competition, the yardsticks to measure your success are very different from what they are once you're married? Once you're hitched, its like you've reached a halo-worthy stand or position of sorts. Once you have children many of the people who messed with your head and feelings just fall by the wayside and stop picking on you. Just why is marriage such a leveller? Or having kids? Isnt a person with neither of those adages to their rostrum of achievements not worthy of being an achiever in their own right? Why is marriage and having children such an achievement anyway? Its the easiest thing I think. Its another thing that the marriage itself and raising those children is anything but simple and people will choose to look the other way as long as you show you're trying to make the most of it. As long as you're hitched and procreating, you're left alone for the most part.

I had an uncle who would lie while introducing me to others saying I had done my MBA like was making me feel my choice of deciding what I wanted to do with my life studywise wasnt good enough for him or his friends. Now though, Im talked about quite proudly bcos I happen to be here, in a reasonably decent marriage and kids to show for it. Seems quite stupid to me.

I could go on but I'll spare you.

In other news - I was at the kids' playground 2 days ago and four 7-th or 8th graders at the most started circling back and forth on their bikes around me and the kids saying things like you !@#$ Indians, Go back to India etc etc. I was stupefied mainly for two reasons. The area we live in has a sizeable population of Indians, in the best of positions and fields. It is a an area where you have well-to-do people, professionals and educated at the least. The school itself has a high number of Indian students and there's no way I am the minority here. I felt that this was a game to needle me and get me to retort or react in some way. I didnt mainly because I had the children with me.

The next day though as I went to pick them up from camp, the same thing happened but this time I gave it back. Its an understatement to say they were shocked at my replying back, were taken aback and it took them a while to come up with something else. Within minutes though, I threatened to call the cops and between yelling whatever they could and me flipping the bird and whatever else, I called R who was anyway upset with what happened the night before and insisted on coming home from work. He insisted on us wanting to report to the school and filing a complaint with the cops.

The school - closed for Friday, it being sumer hols and all anyway, we called the cops. The cops listened me out and said there was nothing they could do bcos 'unfortunately' in this country, you can say what you want, you have the freedom of speech and it only becomes a reason to complain when I feel like there's a threat to my life. (Like 4 boys cycling back and forth around me and my 4 and 6 yr olds is not threatening enough) . People can say what they want, if they took up every complaint that people made about hating someone else or racist, demeaning things were said, there'd be time only for that. He apologised, felt bad for what had happened but we didnt have a case.

I understand. What I dont understand is, is it ok to spread a feeling of hatred and fear and label it as freedom of speech? Is it ok to let teenagers get away with this kind of behaviour and then be sorry later for having shoot-outs in schools, gyms and what have you? I'd understand them feeling insecure, or threatened, jealousy or whatever, I dont understand them voicing it and thinking its ok to get away with it. I dont understand why they can sit in a place as public and supposedly safe like a school playground and have no one hold you accountable.

I am too tired to actually write everything that went on in my head and by way of discussing this with other parents and family. We thrashed the whole thing back and forth and the only thing we could come up with is that in a situaiton like this, you forget youre an adult, you stand up for yourself and give it back good and proper. One parent even advised me to make sure I teach my children comebacks and retorts to make them stand up for themselves. I was feeling shocked, angry and ridiculous at the same time. Teach elementary school kids to reply back to racist remarks? If this goes on in good areas, whats it like in not so good places?

I'm aware that this is not the norm. In the 7 years that Ive been here, this has been my first run-in with an incident of this kind, that too with juveniles and not mature adults. Still it left an impression on me and I'm wary on one side and cherish the friends of other cultures that I have so much more on the other.

Peace out.